Cheap Shi(r)t

Okay, I’ve got the joy and excitement from Josh’s concert out of my system.  Bet you’re thinking, “that didn’t last long.” 

At his concert in Raleigh I bought a souvenir program; a coffee mug; a key chain; and the post cards.  So.  I’m a conspicuous Josh consumer, so what?  It’s money that I’d spend anyway whether it’s on Luna bars or Double Fudge Brownie ice cream and there’s no calories involved with Josh merchandise….unless I pig out on the ice cream and Luna bars when I listening to Josh.  So, again I ask….so what?

So what?  So in Charlotte I bought a t-shirt.  This t-shirt to be exact.

All I can say is what a crappy shirt.  It’s so thin you can practically see through it.  Hell, you can see through it; if you look at the picture of the back of the shirt on the right, you can see the ‘AWAKE’ logo.  This shirt cost $30 and I don’t mind paying that at all.  I love me some souvenir shirts and have plenty of musicals proudly represented in my t-shirt drawer.  As a matter of fact I have two Josh shirts from his first concert tour and they’re a very good quality and weight.  Unlike this one.  It’s thinner than undershirts; you can see skin through it.  But, honey bears, you ain’t gonna see my skin through it; scary thought.  It’s just plain ole flimsy.  And I’m disappointed.  Of course, the shirt is made in the USA which in itself is an oddity.  I guess I should be grateful that the tour is selling some merchandise that’s actually made in the USA.  I didn’t realize that apparel companies still manufactured in the United States.  Must have been a fluke.  But for that fact alone, I should think the quality would be better than the cheap Chinese crap that we’re forced to spend our money on these days.  Can you tell I’m aggravated?  I am, because most of you know how I feel about the ‘Made In China’ label.  That’s another subject entirely.

My beef is with this (not)beefy tee.  I’m pissed and want to return it, but to whom?  Where?  Is the tour responsible for the merchandise or is it contracted out to another party for a cut of the profits?  More inquiring minds want to know if Josh knows about this blot on his shining rep.  What would Josh do?  If his adoring fans gave him a t-shirt of such poor quality (and trust me, friends, Josh gets LOTS of t-shirts), would he be insulted?  Would he want to return it?  Would he know where to return it? 

So.  Joshie, boy?  What should I do with the t-shirt?  That’s $30 that I could have spent on See’s candy.  Now, there’s some quality! 

Take my phone, please.

I just needed a new phone.  Time to upgrade my old LG phone, the one that doesn’t do anything except make and receive calls.  It doesn’t take pictures, it doesn’t play music, it doesn’t text, nor have any serious attitude.  Heck, it hardly ever rings because I have a serious phone phobia and it’s all I can do to make a call.

So.  Off to the Verizon store to get a new phone…one that will take pictures.  That’s the only upgrade I wanted, the ability to whip out my phone and possibly make history the next time I’m on the scene of any earth shattering news.  My goodness, what a candy store of cute tiny techno gadgets.  I looked at the utilitarian phones, but I gots da fevah!  I walked out with the latest model of Chocolate in a cool maroon shade.  Trailing behind me was a music essentials kit to better upload music to my phone; a memory card so I could upload a ton (figuratively) of music; a Bluetooth headset so I could groove to ‘Jersey Boys’ wirelessly; and of course a car charger just in case I left home with an uncharged phone. 

The bill for all my goodies was impressive and I left the store in an endorphin high that had me feeling hip and cool.  I had a phone that would not only make and receive calls, but would also play music.  And take pics!  I was cookin’.  I went home and read the instructions.  I hate to admit that I’m weird that way.  Then I carefully put the phone aside to play with another day.    The phone is sleek, but the round scroll thingy is very touchy and difficult to use.  I couldn’t find the menus easily and after an exasperating while, fell out of love.  I can be fickle.  My techno high was short-lived and I came crashing down to reality.  I’m a child of the party line and rotary dials.  A phone isn’t an entertainment center.  It’s a gadget that’s used to make and receive calls….or at least retrieve messages because you don’t bother to answer the phone in the first place.  It’s a device of convenience, not a new appendage that must be attached to my body.  Me.  With a hip new phone?  I don’t think so.

I was standing in line at the Verizon store yesterday, tapping my foot, couldn’t wait to rid myself of the ridiculous Chocolate!  Who do I think I am?  I’m an unhip, uncool don’t-wanna-be who thinks you don’t use cell phones when you’re driving, or walking in stores, or dining in restaurants, or even walking down the sidewalk.  Cell phones are to be used in an emergency.  

Who needs a cool new phone?  I don’t.  So I said bye bye to that ridiculous maroon phone and got something in black.  With a camera.  I mean, I’m not that totally lacking in hip.  Who knows when I might want to snap a pic and make news at the next garden show… 

The Deafening Would Be (Welcome) Silence

Is it me?  Where was I when it happened?  When did businesses ratchet up the volume of the overhead music?  When did “background” music become a battle of the decibels?  I wear two hearing aids, by that definition I’m pretty much deaf.  But the noise…and I call  it noise politely…overwhelms me and makes me want to scream, before exiting an establishment in haste, “Your damned music is too freaking loud!”  I even wrote CVS pharmacy and complained about the noise that blasted me as I walked into a couple of their stores.  I got a nice reply, but of course, the noise continues blasting.  What happened to Muzak, that nice, boring, unpretentious, and hardly noticeable music that was the bane of every elevator and department store in the western world? 

I admit.  I’ve become a grump.  It’s my right; I’m over 39.  But I do like music and if it’s classical or Josh Groban, then I absolutely adore it.  Okay, call me boring, I don’t care.  That’s my right, too.  But the loud, metallic, screeching noise that passes for music now only annoys me and causes me to get out of a store as soon as possible.

Yesterday, even in this southern heat, with heat indexes of 203F (no, I don’t exaggerate either) I had to do errands and grocery shopping.  My first stop was the drive-up mail box at the post office to mail a birthday card.  No music there thankfully, but it’s only a matter of time before there’s outside speakers at every drive-up mailbox.  Fast food drive-up windows now even have music blasting.  Have you noticed?  But I digress.  My next stop was K-Mart for some cheap tank tops for the August heat.  You guessed it.  LOUD music.  I got my goods and split in record time.  Chik-fil-A is a usual stop and I got my trusty #7 and parked myself under a speaker…which wasn’t difficult because there are several speakers in the ceiling.  The music was loud and the female singers were screechers.  I was in a foul mood.  I wanted to ask one of the slacker guys if they had someone who determined how loud the music was, but I was in such a mood that I knew I couldn’t be my usual sweet Suth’un self, so I bolted my food and got out again in record time.  Again, when I got to the grocery section of the local megamart, I listened and above the din…you guessed it.  Loud music.  Once more in record time I bought groceries and left.

So.  Is it me?  Am I the only one on the planet who notices the noise?  Am I the only one who finds it annoying?  Am I the only one who doesn’t like the racket?  Am I the only one who isn’t afraid to be alone with my thoughts, or rather the chirping of the crickets which is tinnitus?  Am I the only one who cares?  Have we become such a busy technological society that we can no longer expect a quiet environment?  Does anyone else miss the mindlessness of the Muzak generation?

“New and improved.” The death knell for a good product.

Y’all remember New Coke, right?  That was a debacle that sent Coke shares wayyy down.  And forced Coke to say ‘uncle’ and put our dearly beloved back on the shelves in a classic way.

Et tu, Thermafuse?

For years I used Thermafuse hair products www.thermafuse.com/, a company based in Kannapolis, NC.  Their products were regional and couldn’t be found nationally.  But that little ole Suth’un company had the best products on the market.  Basic Revolution moisturizing shampoo and conditioner were the best ever.  No matter what I tried, I always came back to them because nothing compared.  Intense! Rebuild Styling Gel was great for our Suth’un humidity because it was light and strong; held well and didn’t get sticky in the heat.  Basic Revolution Nuage’ Ultimate Hold Hair Spray went on a little wet, but dried quickly and could hold a ‘do in any ole hurricane that happened along the coast.  I worshipped at the altar of Thermafuse.  I talked it up every chance I got.  I had gallon jugs of the stuff shipped to me in California (thank you, Red) and their astringent could soothe any itchies. 

I dropped by Red’s last week for a supply of products since I’m going to California for a month and wanted to stock up.  I couldn’t find my usual products.  There were Thermafuse products in ugly, awkward packaging, but not my babies.  Chico helped me because the stuff was on glass shelves over my head.  He gave me something and I inquired about the packaging which he said they’d changed.  We chatted a bit more because I always forget that they don’t take debit cards and I didn’t have a check with me.  Since he’s seen my face for years, he told me it was okay and I could pay for it later.  I thought that was mighty neighborly of him and was going to mail a check when I got home; of course I didn’t.

I tried the new shampoo that night.  It felt vaguely the same but had a mint overture, perhaps peppermint, that I could feel and smell.  And smell.  Okay, not the original, but not bad.  But the ugly blue/brown packaging was about as ugly to me as the lime green “new” packaging of my precious Ban deodorant and certainly didn’t match my decor.  I’m very resistant to ugly packaging; prefer white.  When I opened the gel, I was really suspicious because the name was different, the color and texture was different, and the fragrance was overpowering. OMFG.  Awful.  The scent didn’t go away; it lingered and lingered and I had to finally wash my hair again to get rid of it.  I threw that boy back in the bag to return toute de suite.  I was not happy.

So yesterday I traipsed back to Red’s with a new checkbook and the stinky Esculpt gel.  Red was apologetic about the product change and was obviously disappointed himself.  He told me that noone liked the new products and they weren’t buying them.  He complained to Thermafuse, but didn’t get a satisfactory response.  He said he’d been selling the products for 22 years and now they decided they wanted to compete with Paul Mitchell, Matrix, et.al…the big boys’ fancy schmancy haircare lines.  I guess after 22 years, you have to jazz your products up; no matter what your customers like.  Because old, loyal customers don’t count; it’s the new ones who do.  If it ain’t broke, it will be.  Anyway, Red recommended some Paul Mitchell gel as he had with his other customers.  Half the price of the new Thermafuse.  Can’t possibly be worse than the new Thermafuse.  Not stinky like the new Thermafuse.  But it won’t have a loyal customer like the old  Thermafuse.